Don't Dwell on Black Hearts
by fashiongirl97
Summary: As they continue a Christmas Tradition, they don't realise that Jenny is spending what will be her last christmas alone. But that is what happens when the demons you have in your heart take over.


**Disclaimer: **NCIS is not mine

* * *

Don't Dwell on Black Hearts

* * *

_"Beware the dark pool at the bottom of our hearts. In its icy, black depths dwell strange and twisted creatures it is best not to disturb."_

_I is for Innocent, by Sue Grafton_

* * *

The whole of the city was slowly beginning to once more become perfectly enthralled by the magical essence brought in tow by Christmas.

Trees being erected in every place that would hold them then covered in mass of sparklingly coloured tinsel and intricately designed baubles which were precisely hung from the spiked branches. Small fairy lights wrapped around trees, houses, every usable surface.

Christmas songs playing garishly loud from shops filled with fake plastic snow. Radio stations counting down the precise number of sleeps until Santa's sleigh would make magical its rounds.

And tonight the whole of the city was gathering in the centre, to marvel in quite childish delight as the Christmas lights were officially turned on. The first day of advent was here, and no one could deny a little festive spirit. Smiles were worn and the odd traditional Christmas jumper, that was housed up all year, was revealed at last. Children were wearing their bright puffy coats and jumping around with a spring in their step.

And NCIS was no exception from the typically decorated world. Abby had taken the reigns and decked the halls with more than just bells and holly. Dangerous mistletoes hung all around tempting agents to stand still for the smallest of moments, lights were flickering and every now and then there would be the blaring sound of jingle bells as she skipped cheerfully past. Then there was the massive tree that took over the whole of the bullpen and had caused the complete rearranging of the desks that usually sat there.

Every room, bar one, was decorated to perfection; her office was the light that had blown from the set. The only one that was like the time of year was not even upon them. But after the year it had been, Christmas seamed completely insignificant now. It was just a day of giving over commercialised, expensive gifts that no one really wanted-

-or to her it was anyway.

This time last year she'd been dating, she'd been happy. Granted he wasn't anywhere near being the Leroy Jethro Gibbs she wanted, but she had someone at least who cared. But this time around, she was alone. She'd pushed them all away as the demons that had lay dormant in the black of her heart for the last decade slowly took over.

There had been dark in her heart since the tragically terrifying day that she had found her father's limp body in his study. It had taken over her heart, and her life, so many times since that day. But this time around she had – for the first time in too long – had people who truly cared. And as the dark demons she had managed to hide took over, she hurt those around her. She pushed them so far away that she was no longer the woman they had once known, but in fact just a creature standing in her place.

A trigger of a case, and everything that had once been was changed.

She was like a wild animal, breaking the rules and leaving those who cared for her to cover numerous irreparable mistakes.

So she was alone, she was sitting in her sparse office with just the lights outside to show that the festive season was even upon them.

What Jenny didn't realise, and what they would always regret; was that this was her final Christmas and she was spending it traditionally alone. Her final first day of advent, and she was denying it was even that day.

And when the next year would come, and she was no longer there, they would all realise that they had been the ones who were just as to blame. Because it was their selfish opinions on what she had transformed into, that had meant that their 'mother' was alone.

Meanwhile, Jenny walked out onto the catwalk, and looked down on the traditionally ostentatious decoration. And she let a single lone tear fall carelessly from her cracked façade, and be caught by the star below.

The star that next year would still be at the top of the tree, even when she was not at the top of agency.

Demons had taken over her heart and turned a good heart black. Demons that everyone holds inside them. They'd risen, and hurt, and broken, and burnt, and torn, and conquered, and ruled her. And no one had saved her.

It's hard to not disturb your demons.

It's harder to watch someone battle their demons.

But the hardest thing? That is to lose the battle and have no one save you.

* * *

_I've neglected you all for so long, I know that, but there is a new story in the works. So, please forgive me, and leave a review telling me what you think._

__Abs xx_


End file.
